Understanding and Escaping Domestic Abuse: A Guide for Survivors

Domestic abuse is a pattern of controlling behaviors aimed at gaining and maintaining power over an intimate partner. It can happen to anyone, regardless of marital status, sexual orientation, socioeconomic background, race, or ethnicity. If you suspect you may be in an abusive relationship, know that you are not alone and help is available.

Types of Domestic Abuse

Abuse can take many forms beyond physical violence:

• Physical abuse: Hitting, shoving, biting, forcing drugs/alcohol, denying medical care

• Sexual abuse: Forcing unwanted sexual acts

• Emotional/psychological abuse: Name-calling, shaming, blaming, criticizing, isolating from others, threatening harm

• Economic abuse: Controlling finances, not allowing work or school

Certain groups may face specific types of abuse:

• LGBTQ+ individuals: Targeting sexual identity, threatening to "out" them

• Immigrants: Using deportation threats, preventing English learning or family contact

• Disabled persons: Stealing disability payments, damaging assistive equipment, neglecting care

• Pregnant women: Escalating abuse, risking miscarriage or labor complications

Recognizing Abuse

Abusers often try to shift blame, claiming the survivor is equally or more at fault. Remember, abuse is never the survivor's fault. Self-defense and resistance are not abuse. Over time, abuse can lead to low self-esteem, emotional stress, and even PTSD.

Steps to Escape Abuse Safely

1. Plan an escape route and stay near an exit during conflicts

2. Pack a hidden suitcase with essentials (clothes, medications, documents, money, etc.)

3. Keep a list of important contacts like shelters and safe friends/family

4. Alert trusted neighbors and establish a safety signal

5. Teach children an age-appropriate safety plan

Getting Help

If you need help or advice, confidential support is available:

• Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 (24/7)

• Chat live on www.thehotline.org anytime

• Find a local domestic violence agency through the DomesticShelters.org search tool

Remember, you are not alone. Help and support are available to escape abuse and rebuild a safe, healthy life.