Medically reviewed by Angel Kerney | MD, F.A.C.O.G Obstetrics & Gynecology on October 1st, 2023.
As a loved one approaches the end of their life, it can be a challenging and emotional time for caregivers and family members. Understanding the dying process and knowing how to provide comfort and support can help you navigate this difficult journey with compassion and grace.
When a healthcare team recognizes that a person is likely within 6 months of dying, they may recommend transitioning to hospice care. Hospice provides specialized care for individuals with terminal illnesses, focusing on pain relief, comfort, and emotional and spiritual support for both the patient and their loved ones.
As the body begins to shut down, there are several changes you can expect to see. While each person's journey is unique, these signs are a normal part of the dying process:
Increased sleep and drowsiness
Decreased appetite and thirst
Withdrawal from people and activities
Reduced communication (except in children, who may ask more questions)
Extreme fatigue and weakness, often confined to bed
Changes in sleep patterns, appetite, and bowel and bladder function
Fluctuations in blood pressure, breathing, and heart rate
Body temperature changes, resulting in cool, warm, moist, or pale skin
Congested breathing due to secretions in the throat
Confusion or a dazed state
Refusal of food and drink
Cessation of urination and bowel movements
Grimacing, groaning, or scowling from pain
Irregular pulse and heartbeat
Mottled bluish-purple skin on knees, feet, and hands
Interrupted breathing that slows until it stops
As a caregiver, your role is to be present, offer comfort, and reassure your loved one. You can help maintain their comfort and dignity by:
Managing pain with medication or other therapies
Keeping the room well-lit but not bright, and as quiet and peaceful as possible
Providing gentle touch and soothing music
Constantly assuring them of your presence
Deciding when to gather family and friends to say goodbye and create memories is one of the hardest decisions. Inform loved ones as soon as it becomes apparent that death is near. Remember that even if you've gathered, your loved one may wait until you've left the room to pass away, as if unable to let go in your presence.
Caregivers, families, and friends can find support and resources through organizations such as:
Remember, each person's journey through the dying process is unique. By understanding the signs, providing comfort, and seeking support, you can help your loved one maintain their dignity and peace in their final days.
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