Navigating Healthcare with Your Adult Children: Tips for a Smooth Experience

Involving your adult children in your healthcare can offer numerous benefits, such as having advocates to help you follow your treatment plan, communicate with your doctors, and even schedule and attend appointments with you. Additionally, this arrangement allows you to spend more quality time with your family. However, navigating this relationship can sometimes be challenging.

Dr. Suzanne Salamon, associate chief of gerontology at Harvard-affiliated Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, explains, "There's a tendency for roles to reverse. The child becomes the parent. The parent may not be comfortable with that. Or the parent doesn't want to burden the child, and lets health issues go until they're too far gone."

To ensure a positive experience for both you and your adult children, consider the following tips:

1. Set Clear Boundaries and Expectations

Be upfront about your needs and establish your own ground rules for your children's involvement in your healthcare. Clearly communicate your preferences regarding decision-making, information sharing, and the level of involvement you're comfortable with.

2. Maintain Open Communication

Regularly discuss your health concerns, treatment plans, and any changes in your condition with your adult children. Encourage them to ask questions and express their concerns, and be honest about your feelings and needs.

3. Respect Each Other's Roles

Acknowledge that while your children are there to support you, you are still the primary decision-maker in your healthcare. Avoid letting roles reverse completely, as this can lead to discomfort and strain on your relationship.

4. Seek Outside Support

If you feel overwhelmed or need additional guidance, consider reaching out to healthcare professionals, such as geriatric care managers, social workers, or counselors who specialize in family dynamics and aging. They can help you navigate difficult conversations and maintain healthy boundaries.

5. Prioritize Self-Care

Remember to take care of yourself and manage your own stress levels. Engage in activities that promote your physical, mental, and emotional well-being, such as exercise, hobbies, and socializing with friends.

By following these tips and maintaining open, honest communication with your adult children, you can foster a supportive and positive healthcare experience for your entire family. Remember, your well-being is a top priority, and involving your loved ones can lead to better health outcomes and stronger family bonds.

For more information on family involvement in healthcare, visit:

• AARP: Managing Your Loved One's Medical Care

• National Institute on Aging: Long-Distance Caregiving

• Family Caregiver Alliance: Holding a Family Meeting